Live Strong

Living in Austin, we all know and admire Lance Armstrong's cancer survival. But you know, there needs to be a nod to the families and friends to those with cancer. Because you go to hell and back, and aren't sure how you yourself survived it.

Mom's condition? Fair to middling most days. I'd think we'd have enough sleep that she would be "pleasant" with my brother Don who took the day shift. For the past 7 days, I've slept on a foldout chair that turns into a cot. And let me just tell you how I cried for my bed, sheets, and pillows. But I'm not the one enduring hell with treatments to pull fluid off the lungs, complete lack of regard for modesty (I can now be in the same room with my mother as she uses the restroom), countless needle sticks for blood samples, and IV places - not to mention the times the IV had to "find" a new spot. Her left arm looks black & blue - 10 times worse than any assault victim. Because her right arm has fallen victim to DVT, which is blood clots. And we've survived our first 3 rounds of chemotherapy. Night 1 - hell. Night 2 - the doorway to hell. Night 3 - we've survived hell and lived to tell about it. It's not fun. I'm exhausted, scared, frightened, emotional, drained, upset, concerned, and clueless how this is all going to work. And as I'm writing this, my spirits are "better."

I have to give even more thanks to the nurses at Providence Hospital. They babied us, took care of us (not just the patient), and ensured that Mom's needs were taken care of. Last night, our nurse was a girl I know from Gatesville. Girl. Hah. She's 26 years old, and 4 years ago, started out trying to get into nursing school. Apparently, she's succeeded - she's an RN, which she tells me pays twice as much as an LVN. She was a blessing to have this last day. Because I've counted down to Monday so I can get back "HOME".

So Thanksgiving Day sucked. If it weren't for James dragging me off to a friend's grandmother's house, who just about coddled me and spoon fed me, I would have passed out from hunger. I know I'm hungry, just can't make decisions to get food. And the triptophan from the turkey allowed me to sleep 3 whole hours before I went back that evening for Round 1 of chemo.

It's hard. And I have to say that I'm thankful for my friends. Steph has called me daily, even though she has been in Mississippi with Chad's family. Tari has called me every other day. James has called me every day but one from Terlingua. He FINALLY got through to me on THE WORST DAY - Saturday. I've butted heads with my oldest brother, even though we've called a silent truce since it IS all about Mom right now. I went home Saturday to only cry for 3 hours because they had decided to not do radiation upon discharge. So I think the worst - that Mom has decided to not forego treatment (because it is really the hardest thing to survive). However, I find out later that it's because of the 3-day chemo and we want to find out how she responds. And let me just say that the first prognoses we received from the doctors were only another 3 months of survival. Apparently, the cancer is that advanced.

So - everyone, I welcome your support and prayers. I need it.